“Maybe we should go to the pediatrician and see what he thinks?” That was the start of the conversation. Earlier that day, my husband, also a teacher, had had a conversation with a coworker. Her son, 2 months younger than ours, had just been diagnosed with ADHD. Her son and ours seemed to be similar, and so my husband brought it up to me later that afternoon.
So we made the a
ppointment. We talked about what if he is diagnosed? What do we want to do about medication? We had both fallen victim to the “Medication for ADHD is going to turn your kid into a zombie.” So we both agreed that we would say no to medication.
T day if the appointment, the Dr asked us a lot of questions about what we were seeing at home and then he had us fill out a Vanderbilt form, gave us one for his teacher, and that was about it. About 2 weeks later, we went back to the Dr to go over the forms. I remember feeling really nervous. All I could focus on was. “What is this going to mean for him, for us, for his future?”
When the Dr came back into the room with the forms, he delivered the news: “your son has ADHD.” In that moment, our lives changed. A D and H weren't just letters in the alphabet anymore. They carried a lot of weight now, a lot of uncertainty.
Then the Dr brought up the dreaded word medication. We looked at each other and said no. We didn't want to medicate our child. The Dr looked at us and told us that if we were talking about diabetes or needing glasses, would we say no? He explained the different types of medications, and the many therapies we could look into in addition to medication. Again, a shared glance. We both knew that if he needed medication for any other condition that we wouldn't hesitate, so why would we do so now? So we nodded at each other and then decided to try a non-stimulant medication.
We left with a page of therapists to call, a prescription for medication, and a lot of worries. Did we make the right choice? Is he going to need medication forever? Will he always be this angry and impulsive? Will he be able to go to college? Will he be able to hold a job later on? (These questions seem silly now, but they're probably the same worries every parent of a child with ADHD has at first. And if they're not, then i guess I am just a big ol’ worrywart!)
He has been on the medication for about a year and a half now. It has helped a lot! We rarely have those days filled with yelling and fighting about everything. They still happen, but with much less frequency.We still had a mountain of school meetings, paperwork, and accommodations to figure out next—because getting the diagnosis was only half the battle. But for the first time, we felt like we had a map. More on that another time…
If you are sitting in that doctor’s office today holding a new diagnosis and a heart full of 'what-ifs,' I want you to know you aren't alone. You don't have to have it all figured out right now. Take a breath. It’s a journey, and we’re in this together.
